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Erotica in a woke world

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I never thought that I’d have anything in common with Jerry Falwell Jr., and then news hit that he (most likely) enjoys watching his wife sleep with other men. That news has also cast the fantasy into the mainstream spotlight, and while my life is mostly filled up with other noise (kids back in virtual school, still living a life mostly quarantined at home while trying to keep a business afloat in a world where companies aren’t buying things like they used to), one article from the Washington Post did catch my attention: “Why conservative men are more likely to fantasize about sharing their wives”.

Kirsten McCurran sent it to me, and after I got past the shock of thinking she was calling me a conservative, I actually read it, and it resonated with a lot of things that I’ve been thinking about lately. The gist of the article is that we want what we’re told we can’t/shouldn’t want. We’re drawn to taboo. As the article references, the “erotica equation” is:

Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement

As an erotica author in this woke era, there’s a lot to tackle, and there’s this precariously line to walk between our dirty fantasies and promoting harmful mindsets. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the #metoo movement and how the words I write could potentially contribute to that harmful perspective. Similarly, Black Lives Matter, which I support, has me considering the crassness of some interracial themes and tropes that are often featured in hotwife erotica. Is Mason Coles reinforcing racial stereotypes, for example? What about Heather Kingsley-Fletcher/Manhattan and her wild past?

I’d like to use this internal debate as a reason for the slowdown in my writing. Maybe it has something to do with it, who knows, but it’s largely just all those other things that are going on in my life. In the end, this is what I tell myself: I try to write characters that feel real and complex, and just as I struggle with these things and how to be a good person, so do my characters.

We are drawn to what we shouldn’t want. I am. You are, as readers. My characters are, too, and that erotica equation is at the heart of what drives a good story. Hopefully, in that process, it’s not a harmful one.

Blog

Motivation

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I’ve been publishing for several years now writing for years (hard to believe my first shorts came out in 2012), and writing for a lot longer than that. I can no longer say that I’m new to this whole “writing” thing. I have more of a process now. I have fans. I pay taxes on royalties. I work with beta readers and send out ARCs and write this blog, and do all the other mechanisms that go along with publishing books that have nothing to do with the books themselves. I even set up a sister site with some other authors, hotwifebooks.com, and (marginally) run that. But my motivation to write, to create, is largely the same as it always has been. I do this for myself first and foremost, crafting stories that I enjoy, and then packaging them to share with you.

I’m not as prolific as some authors, nor as prolific as I wish I could be. I make time in my busy schedule to get these stories out—not to rake in the royalties, but just to get the stories out of my head and onto paper. I’ve got a full-time job (that I love), a family (that I love even more) and yes, I have other hobbies that take up my time. I do, occasionally, watch television. I own an Xbox. But I enjoy creating things, and having this outlet to explore these fantasies. Added bonus, I get to explore them with you guys.

This was going to be a post on process: how do I write, where do the ideas come from, blah blah. Maybe I’ll write that one day, if you guys and gals are interested. But the one point I want to keep from that post is that when I sit down to write a story, I have a rough concept in mind, usually a premise, and a few characters. I typically know the subgenre that I want to write in (and lets be honest, it usually involves some form of misbehaving wife or couple). And then I go. I let my imagination take me where it does. I try to be thoughtful to where my characters want to go and let them do what they want to do, and I always help guide them back to a happier resolution, but that’s it.

So even after all these years, I hope you guys know that I’m still the same author I was back in 2012, only more mature (hopefully) with more refined prose. I still have the thirst to explore my own fantasies, and still love sharing them with you all.

Blog

I won’t burn the bitch

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There’s a subset of the subgenre of naughty wife erotica that would like to see the wife punished for her misadventures. This variant is typically called “burn the bitch,” or BTB (not to be confused with the corporate lingo), usually features a cheating wife, and is almost always not my thing.

This’ll be short, but I felt like it needed to be addressed because these story lines are so tangential to the ones that I am drawn to, and I’ve gotten a few readers asking (or suggesting) I explore a BTB. Simply put, I won’t. To me, a happy ending is pretty damn important, both from a romantic perspective, but also from a literary one. I write about couples (and wives) who explore a naughty side of themselves that they didn’t know they had. The goal is always to strengthen their relationship by understanding themselves better. To write a story that ends in revenge runs contrary to what I’m trying to do as an author.

Let me be clear about a few things. Opinions are opinions, and I’m not judging those people who enjoy this kind of literature. Our desires are crazy and inexplicable things, and sexuality is even more enigmatic. Also, real life is messier than fiction. People cheat. People get hurt. People hurt their loved ones. And a lot of times, marriages end in divorce (or worse). I strive to write stories full of characters that (hopefully) feel real, and they go through their ups and downs, and things may even get dark, but in the end, I’m writing their destinies, and I feel like writing one that ends in tragedy would be a waste of time for me.

Again, this is only my opinion, and it’s one of many. But hopefully this’ll help set your expectations about my books.

Erotica for Men

Female POV in men’s erotica

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“What I want is to be inside a woman’s head that knows what a man wants to read.”

I’ve seen this idea expressed a few times in the blog comments and in e-mails. There’s an audience of male readers looking for plots that appeal to them yet written from the woman’s perspective. I totally get this. It’s pretty sexy to read about a hot woman being naughty. It’s voyeurism at the most intimate level. It also gives us a different take on our old fantasies: a new perspective.

[quote align=”right” color=”#999999″]For me, the narrative is more important than the narrative voice.[/quote]

For me, a woman’s POV isn’t a necessary thing, but neither is a man’s. For me, the narrative is more important than the narrative voice. I want a well crafted plot and believable characters, told with the point-of-view that the story requires. Some stories just work better in third omni–or third limited, split between male and female characters–or male first person. Sometimes, I want to relate to the male character and the inner conflict that he’s going through.

But with the right story, it’s not just erotic to be “inside a woman’s head,” but it’s incredibly powerful. As guys who think about this stuff all the time, we know why wife watching is sexy (well, sort of), or why MFF is so hot. Turn it around, though, and write the female POV, and that story gets a new coat of paint.

If you’re looking for stories out there that would qualify as “erotica for men” and are written in a female voice, I’ve got a few recommendations. Kirsten McCurran’s “Eve’s Swinging Friends” series is a realistic take on neighborhood swinging, all told from Eve’s perspective. Also check out her longer book, Because He’s Watching, about how a woman handles her husband’s wife watching obsession. Interesting fact on that one: Because He’s Watching was a story written in parallel with me; I wrote the husband’s perspective, she wrote the wife’s. I wasn’t happy with how Ian’s story came out, so I locked it away. Maybe one day, I’ll dust it off and release it. Katie Cramer also writes “male-oriented” erotica from a female’s POV, but I’ve only read a couple of her books.

Oh, and here’s the thing: the majority of erotica out there is written (at least partially) from a woman’s perspective. The trick is to find one with the heat level that you want (i.e. a high one) and a theme that you’re drawn to. I’m always looking for a good read. If you’ve got some stories that fit here, please post your reqs.

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