My post on “erotica for men” is still one of the most visited pages on this site, a year and a half later. I think that it’s great that there’s a burgeoning interest in saucy tales told for men. It says something about how the genre is changing. Throw in the whole 50 Shades success story and we’ve got a brand new climate.

But as I’ve gained more experience in the world of commercial erotica, I’ve started to realize that the original question, posed so long ago by Ellora’s Cave, isn’t quite the right question. It’s not, “What is erotica for men?” Erotica for men, in large part, is the same as erotica for women: realistic characters in alluring situations that lead to explosive sexual encounters. Men and women’s tastes may vary, but I don’t think those tastes split along gender lines

In the original post, I posited that the amount and level of detail varied for men and women (men want more, women want less). I don’t think this is entirely accurate, either, beyond basic generalities. Even heat levels come down to the preferences of the reader, whether they be male or female.

Chase Boehner writes about how male authors are finally finding themselves in the spotlight after writing for so long in the dark (Male Writers of Erotica: The New Frontier? at chaseboehner.blogspot.com). And interestingly, it’s not other men discovering these male authors, but other women. So maybe the question is, “What is erotica by men?” He writes:

I think most women that read erotica are surprised at the depth of feeling and character contained within our narrative. For a lot of us it’s not just about getting a quick and vividly described screw jotted done electrically for all to read and get their naughty parts tingling. The vast majority of us care as much about relationships as anyone else in the world.

So let’s stop pigeon holing male authors and male audiences. Our tastes run as diverse as anything else. From a purely marketing standpoint, the strategy of marketing to one gender over another makes no sense. Why cut your sales in half–if not more when going after men–when everyone can enjoy it?

If I got one thing right in that original post, it was this: “I think that women and men share more fantasies than most realize.” As authors, we bring unique perspectives to the table, but men aren’t writing for primarily male audiences any more than women are writing for female ones.

As I’ve said before, I write erotica that I enjoy. I write romantic erotica. I write about characters that I like, and endings that feel natural. I  write stories where husbands watch their wives get naughty. I write about MILFs. I write about erotic games. I write erotica.

I’m also a guy.

Does one thing relate to the other? Sure. Should we draw any broad conclusions? I wouldn’t. I’m just one guy with my own tastes and fantasies. My posts aren’t just about “erotica for men,” and I’m not so egotistical to think I could capture all of “erotica by men.”

What I can do is write about erotica by one man. By this man.